


In The Wind

by whiskeyandlonging



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Blood, F/M, Mild Smut, Reader Insert
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-28
Updated: 2017-09-28
Packaged: 2019-10-07 15:34:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 710
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17368601
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/whiskeyandlonging/pseuds/whiskeyandlonging
Summary: Dean is gone. Sam is losing hope. Are you?





	In The Wind

**Author's Note:**

> A songfic based off the Lord Huron song of the same name.

_You’ve been gone_  
For a long, long time  
You’ve been in the wind  
You’ve been on my mind  
You are the purest soul  
I’ve ever known in my life 

Two months.

It had been two long, sleepless months. Eight weeks without Dean’s smile, sunlight reflecting in his evergreen eyes, crinkles at the corners giving the depth of his emotions away. Fifty-six days, fourteen hours, and eleven minutes since you closed his eyes, blood pouring out of the wounds left by the hellhound.

You shook the image from your head, mentally washed the blood from your fingers, and refocused on the lore in front of you.

_Take your time_  
Let the river guide you in  
You know where  
You can find me again  
I’ll be waiting here  
‘Til the stars fall out  
Of the sky 

You had spent every waking moment, and even more that should have been spent sleeping, poring over books in every historic city in the continental United States. There had to be something that would give you a clue as to how to free Dean from hell. In your experience, nothing was impossible. You weren’t about to let this become the first thing to make that list.

Sam had driven you across thirty-seven states without comment. You knew he felt he needed to be doing something, that neither of you could simply sit still or hunt while Dean was gone. But though he never said a word about it, you were beginning to suspect he felt this was a hopeless mission. A lightless tunnel.

_Years have gone_  
But the pain is the same  
I have passed my days  
By the sound of your name 

Some days, the only thing pulling you through another useless chapter was Dean’s name. You relived memories of being together, memories of kissing him until he forgot his own name only to have you remind him of it when it fell like a prayer from your lips as your bodies moved together. You dreamed of kissing his name into his skin, trailing your lips across his broad chest. You held onto these moments, using them to pass the most painful days.

But you could feel the hope slowly disappearing from the conversations you had with Sam in the Impala, as you sped down the interstates.

He had long since abandoned researching with you. He acquiesced to your requests for road trips to Bodie, California and Thurmond, West Virginia in the same week, but never left the motel to help you at the local libraries. You tried to work hard enough for the both of you.

_Death is a wall_  
But it can’t be the end  
You were my protector,   
You were my best friend 

Frantic. That was the only way to describe your behavior, your emotions.

You were losing it. Nearly four months had passed without Dean’s warmth in the bed beside you. You missed him and you missed remembering him well. The tenor of his laugh was becoming more difficult to recall. The exact shade of green you knew better than your own name had lost its vibrancy in your memories. You pressed your palms into your eyes, desperately trying to stay present, trying not to dwell on your best friend, your love, fading from your mind.

You weren’t sure how much more you could take.

_Well they say that you’re gone_  
And that I should move on  
I wonder how do they know?  
Baby oh  
How do they know?   
Well they don’t 

“He’s not _GONE_!” you screamed that night, spinning on your heel to face Sam in the small, crowded motel room. “Stop saying he’s gone! You’re just giving up!” You stormed up to him, your anger punctuated by fists thrown against his chest, your breaths coming in short gasps. Sam didn’t flinch. He just wrapped his arms around you as the fight left your body, your fists becoming slack, sliding down his chest as you sank to the ground. “He’s not- he can’t- n-no, he’s…no…”

Sobs wracked your body while a pain you’d never experienced gripped your heart in a vice.

On a dirty motel floor, in the arms of the brother of the man you loved, you gave up.

That night, the stars fell out of the sky.


End file.
